Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
