how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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