no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
