Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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