She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
