Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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