All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
