dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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