I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Im part way to drunk.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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