hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
