k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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