sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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