i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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