good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
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