I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
