Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize