I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
