You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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