One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
