don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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