I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
