You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
