just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
