I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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