she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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