C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
