I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
