I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
