I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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