in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
