I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
