Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm sobbing to NWA
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
