This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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