New low: just hacked my moms facebook
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
