I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
