you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
