I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
