it wasn't lemon gatorade
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
