Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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