he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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