Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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