god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He did a backflip because drugs
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