I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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