You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
