Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize