if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It was like getting head from an anaconda
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
