i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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