My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
