I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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