Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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