they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Actions speak louder than pants.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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