Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
