im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
