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Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
