Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
