Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize