seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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