If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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