just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize