Welp...herpes.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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