You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
