Pants 0. Shit 1.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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