is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
