someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
