we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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