he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
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