I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
